Charles Wei, California

I was 24-years-old when I finally came out to my parents. Until it happened, I honestly couldn’t imagine ever actually doing it. I’m second generation American. My mom is Filipino and my dad is Chinese, but he was born in the Philippines.

One day, my parents were watching T.V. and a commercial came on about gay marriage. I hadn’t heard either of my parents make a homophobic remark in several years, so I was shocked to hear the comments they were making during the commercial. It was at that point that I decided I could no longer keep up the façade for them. I had to tell them who I really was. On top of that, they were the only ones in my life that I hadn’t told yet.

I refused to talk to my mom for the rest of that night, so she knew I was pissed at her. The next day, I called from work to ask if she would be at home later because I needed to talk to her. She was really worried and asked what it was about, but I just told her I would talk to her when I got home. In a way, I was getting back at her for the things that she had said the previous day, but I was also paving the way for what I had to do later that night. I knew my parents, and I knew that if I wanted a favorable outcome to coming out to them, I basically needed to take them on an emotional rollercoaster.

I got home and luckily my dad was there. I didn’t know if I could do what I was about to do a second time. He was reading the newspaper at the kitchen table and my mom was doing the dishes. I turned the T.V. off in the living room and asked them to sit at the table with me. They both looked worried. I started out by telling them that I loved them and that I appreciated everything that they did for me. I knew I was freaking them out, but it had to be done. I needed to remind them how much they loved me before I dropped the bomb.

Then I told them I was gay and waited for their reaction. My dad cried a little, and they asked me a few questions, but honestly, I don’t remember exactly what was said after that. Things were a little awkward for a couple of weeks afterwards, and there were a couple of weird incidents with my mom, but things have been pretty good since then. I’m closer to my parents now than I ever was before and although we don’t really ever talk about my sexuality, I know they accept me for who I am. And, I know that they love me.