Andrew Striker, Florida

I didn't come out until my first year in college. I didn’t even figure out I was gay until my senior year of high school, but I never even once considered telling anyone my secret. My plans for the future were as an officer in the military, not as a part of the same group of people I saw getting made fun of every day in school.

I started college in Air Force ROTC. I never once questioned where I wanted to go in life, but in the back of my mind there were always those thoughts and desires I had to suppress. The only time I let those thoughts resurface was when the semester ended, and my health took a turn for the worst. After discovering how difficult it was going to be to pursue a military career, I left my plans for the future and changed my field of study.

I spent the entire winter break thinking about my future and who I wanted to be for the rest of my life. When I finally came back to school I knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to be honest with the people I knew about who I was. I knew that if my friends were really my friends, being gay wouldn’t matter to them. So I did it. I came out to my closest friends at first, testing the waters to see how people might react, and gradually I came out to everyone else.

I didn't tell my parents until several weeks later when I drove the four hours home to see them. Although my father took it well my mother wasn’t as understanding. I consider myself lucky that at least one of my parents took it well.

I had a great group of friends and no one I know, besides my mother, took it badly. I don’t know what I would have done without all of them to help me. The best advice I can give anyone is to have that person, or group of people, or counselor, or teacher who can be there for you when you need someone to talk to.

Never be afraid of losing yourself in that small part of who you are. Being honest with myself and everyone else has shaped me into the person that I am. Now I have even more friends, and I’m a big advocate in the LGBT community. Coming out has made a really positive impact on my life.

Cody Henslee, Arkansas

My childhood was plagued with close calls and complete red-handed captures, but my parents never really put it together. I remember staying home while my brother would have his baseball games during the summer. I would use my Sega Dreamcast to access the internet so as to not leave a history or an endless cache of graphic images. I remember clearly my mother coming home early one afternoon because my brother had forgotten his bat bag. She never saw the compromising situation I had found myself in, but did speak to me through my locked bathroom door. After I was assured she had gone, I left my bathroom to see that I had never shut down the system, nor even turned off the television. Nothing was ever said about the situation, this pretty much confirmed my fourteen year-old perception of my family's view on homosexuality.

Fast forward four years and you find an insecure high school graduate who has had a handful of junior high girlfriends, but chose to sit the game out in high school. At this point I was sure of my sexual orientation, and upon entering college I found myself contemplating how I was going to deal with that always prevalent question, "Are you gay?" My only solution to this almost rhetorical question, given my clothing choices and demeanor, was to answer the question the easiest way possible: Facebook. Before I knew it, word spread quickly among the UCA students with whom I had history with back in Bryant, my home town.

This quickly raised concerns of the word getting back to my parents before I had told them. I felt it would be better received if they heard it from me. So I made a pact to tell my dad the first time I came home from school, which happened to be Labor Day 2005. Upon getting home I became very hesitant about the discussion that I knew I needed to had. My dad found me lying on the sofa just staring at the ceiling while he vacuumed the carpet. He looked over and turned off the vacuum, and asked if I had anything on my mind. I looked at him and affirmed him that I was fine and that I was just daydreaming.

About fifteen minutes later my dad had finished vacuuming the house and was putting the vacuum away when he looked at me and asked again, "Are you sure you're not thinking about something?" It almost felt like he was pulling it out of me so I stared off into space and said, "Dad, I told myself that the first time I came home from school I would tell you that I'm gay." I'll never forget the next two hours of discussion and disbelief. I wanted to eject myself out of the situation, and even suggested that I leave; however, that very suggestion changed the tone of the conversation and let me see that my dad was did love me. He told me that, "I was of his flesh and that no matter who I was, I would always be of his flesh."

I know that my sexuality is a sore subject for my father, but I do believe his concerns are genuine and are reflective of his background and upbringing. On occasion we do talk about it but only in the context of my issues with relationships and other guys, but never just about me.